The One Who Holds My Heart

I was supposed to write about my significant other and/or spouse this week. Seeing as I am neither married nor dating until September, I knew there was only one way to come at this. Write about The One who truly holds my heart.

I have done nothing to deserve his love, his grace, or his listening ear. In fact I fail him every day. There have been seasons where I just wasn’t feeling it and there were times where I flat out ran in the other direction. Yet He still waits. He still loves. He still mourns for me, rejoices over me, and redirects my feet when I walk on paths of sure destruction.

I have done nothing to deserve his love, yet he still opens doors for me. He still takes care of me in my decisions. Even when I know of his plan and his desires, yet go with the decision that “felt right”. He still patiently waits for me to start listening.

He sent his son, HIS ONLY SON, down from the perfection that heaven is to this world overrun by greed and sin. He sent his only son to be crushed by the past, present, and future sin of the world- to be crushed by MY SIN-for the sake of loving me.

He looked at the world and thought it needed one of me. The God of the Universe looked at everything he’s created and said “This world needs Emma Karis Hale”. He has blessed me with parents that love me through it all. And I mean through it all.

There are so many things he has done and is still doing that I am so eternally grateful for. He deserves a song of praise to ever be on my lips. He deserves for me to be obsessively grateful simply for the fact I have another day to live. He deserves my heart.

I’d be lying if I said I do all these things every second of every day. I forget. I forget that my feelings shouldn’t determine my attention span for him. I forget that he sits in heaven and grieves for what this world is going through. I forget that everything I have is not mine. I forget to give not only my future plans to him, but also my daily plans.

I forget. I’m broken. I am so very far from deserving his love. Yet he still does. Still loves me, still desires me, still plans good things for me.

God is so good. He is so good. After all he’s done and every moment he’s loved me and all I know to write is: he is good.

Brokenness Aside he makes all things beautiful! He is such a loving father! His love is so deep, so wide, so long that I can spend my life trying to understand it and never will.

I am so thankful that I have a God that loves me with such magnitude! I am so thankful for  a father that forgives my transgressions! I am so thankful for a Savior that desires to spend eternity with me! Your praise will ever be on my lips Lord!

I pray that I am continuously humbled by the weight of his mercy and love! I will praise him in the hallway even when my emotions don’t come into line! I relinquish my grasp on my reality to grab hold of his reality! I never want to stop learning of all he’s done. I never want to lose a childlike sense of faith in him!

I will never be able to do anything to deserve his love. But Heaven knows I will wake up every day with a song upon my lips and a grateful heart for another day to learn more about the Lord who sacrificed so much for me. My life isn’t my own and one day I will dance into his throne room singing of all he’s done, but until then I’ll dance HERE on earth and be obsessively grateful for the one who loves me through it all.

God you are so good.

 

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