worth it

Beloved, recklessly loved, just because someone doesn’t recognize your value or worth in the way you desire doesn’t strip you of the worth Jesus has declared over you.

Before I continue, I am SO guilty of this. I am so guilty of writing myself off or feeling unworthy when others I like decide to pursue someone besides me or a job opportunity turns me down or a friend lays into me. I place the treasure of my heart in the hands of ones who love with limits, who fail me every day, who can never fulfill the deep longings of my soul to be affirmed and deemed worthy of a love that people write about or die for or sing of. I know the hurt of rejection, I know the hurt that comes from others being my source of life and joy. I know this hurt all too well and I know that others have felt it infinitely deeper than I ever will.

What do I give God? Nothing. To the one who created galaxies of stars and mountains that rise in glorious splendor high above us and the fish deep in the sea, I bring him nothing. The same heart, mind, and body that can be set on fire with praise and joy for my King, is the same body that has wallowed in sin, rejected his pursuit, and rejected his call to know him deeper. My best praise, my best day, my best surrender is still blood soaked, dirt caked rags before the most holy Creator.

Yet He still deemed me worthy enough to die for me. Still deemed me worthy enough to call me by name, Emma Karis, “whole and complete in (his) grace”. He still deemed me worthy enough of being created though He knew I’d run hard and fast to other things before running to Him.

This life is fleeting. We reside in a world that will never satisfy, that should never satisfy. This desire to be loved, esteemed, recognized, and noticed is instilled in us and should point us back to the only one that can and will satisfy our deepest need(s). In Him we find rest and fulfillment. We find love that reaches beyond all things, that climbs up walls to get to us, that saves us from eternity without Him, that separated Himself from perfection so that we would have a chance to know this life with Him.

Worth according to this world will rust and ruin and run empty. So why are we chasing it? Why do we still say Jesus isn’t enough? Why do we still write off the reckless grace He so freely gives us? What are we receiving in this world that is worthy of our time and our lives and our hearts? The answer should ultimately be nothing.

What kind of King knows your sin before you do it, knows your betrayal before you think it, knows that there is a chance that you may never love him back and still chooses to create you and then conquer death for you?

“Define yourself as one radically loved by God. This is the true self. Every other identity is an illusion”

-Brennan Manning

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